Posted 22:16 by Grote 2 comments

Goetta Talk

Like some people, I've taken an extended hiatus from blogging. Well, I'm making a return to the web and I've got some things to say in the coming weeks; but for now, something completely different. I give you "Goetta Talk." For those of you outside of the greater Cincinnati area, Goetta is a ..... foodstuff made from beef, pork and oatmeal cooked together for several hours, refrigerated and then fried up and eaten. Very unhealthy. You can find a recipe here

Now, you might be saying to yourself, "Self, why would Mike write about this?" Well you see this relates back to my family. Specifically, on my Mom's side. It all started Monday, when my Uncle Alan decided to e-mail all of us to reveal his new recipe. "Chicken Cincinnatus" which was Chicken Breast (boneless) combined with bread crumbs cheese, and, of course, goetta. Like most families, such a topic could not be left alone. On Monday, there were seven replies; ranging from disgust to suggestions of replacing the Turkey dinner with it, to revelations of a "goetta mass".

Jump to Tuesday. I am unable to check my e-mail at work and so when I get home I turn on my e-mail program. Twenty new messages "Re: Chicken Cincinnatus". I resist the urge to mark them all spam and begin to read. (This could be a new Monty Python Skit staring my cousin Vicki. "We have bacon, eggs, goetta, sausage, and goetta" "Ugh!" but I'm digressing)

After a couple extraneous e-mails discussing the previous day, my wise (debatable really, but giving the benefit of the doubt) Uncle David declares a contest. The object is to take a normal everyday recipe and replace one normal ingredient with goetta. This leads to a flurry of more e-mails that include the following ideas. I've decided to compile this list to assist my family and to keep the discussion going without clogging everyone's e-mail boxes.

Goetta Tacos
Creamed Chipped Goetta on Toast
Goetta Brownies (iced)*
Goetta Jello Salad
Goetta Croquettes
Bacon, Lettuce and Goetta Sandwich
Goetta Chili
Goetta Ice Cream
Goetta Marcella on a Bed of Penne Pasta
Crunchy Frog Goetta
Tur-duc-en-etta
Beer Volcano Goetta (Goetta formed in a cone shape around a beer can cooked on the grill)
Goetta en Crute
Goetta Flambeau
Goetta Poivore fils
Goetta St. Jacques et Jille
Bone-in filet of Goetta
Goetta Curry
Goetta Lasagna
Goetta Stir-Fry
Goetta Etouffee
Goetta a la Mode
Spaghetti and Goetta Balls with hot slaw on the side
Goetta Tetrizine

Then the true Rettig ingenuity comes out: A goetta recipe book with one of my cousins (who is an editor) edit the recipe book dedicated to my late mother and her late parents. So if those of you in my family, in the blogosphere, or if your one of my friends who just want to jump on this crazy train** feel free to click on the comments and add to the list. Be warned, you might not know what you're getting into.

*Brownies are another point of large contention in this family. Although, the sanest of us know that brownies are only brownies if they have icing on them.

**This Post written to (among other songs) Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train"