Posted 09:07 by Grote 0 comments

The Great James Bond Project:

Goldfinger (1964)

1. Pre Credits: Bond sneaks onto the shore of a Latin American country (Wikipedia says it’s Mexico, I think it’s Cuba but the point is moot) and proceeds to destroy the drug lord’s base of operation. Bond returns to a nightclub where he goes and meets the local dancer for some after mission enjoyment. He’s ambushed and scuffles with the assassin only after using his girlfriend as a shield from the attack. 007 then throws the assassin into the girl’s bathtub and tosses the portable electric heater in after him. As he leaves he quips, “Shocking. Simply shocking.” 4

2. Credits: First to use a pop star (Shirley Bassey) and a lyrical song over the opening credits. We have bonus of seeing clips from Goldfinger, and From Russia with Love displayed on a girl’s body painted with gold. 4

3. Villain: Auric Goldfinger. “All my life I’ve been in love with it’s color, it’s brilliance, it’s divine eminence. I welcome any enterprise that increases my stock.” 4

4. The Plan: Using an “atomic device” delivered by the Chinese, Goldfinger plans to detonate it in Fort Knox, thus rendering the U.S. supply of gold useless for 58 years. He gets an increase ten times in worth, the Chinese get economic panic in the West. 3

5. Other Bond Girls: Jill and Tilly Masterson. Jill works for Goldfinger when Bond steals her away. While he was retrieving Champagne from the fridge, Oddjob knocks him out. When 007 comes to, he discovers Jill dead, covered in gold paint. An iconic scene. Tilly is Jill’s sister; she knows Goldfinger had her sister killed and is out for revenge. Unfortunately she isn’t a good shot and gets killed by Oddjob and his derby while sneaking around Goldfinger’s Swiss estate with 007. 5

6. Titular Line: It’s the villain’s name. Easy enough. 3

7. Bond: As with the previous two films, Connery is on top of his game. Here’s the only thing that keeps him from getting another 5. Depending on your point of view he seduces/date rapes Pussy Galore about three-quarters into the movie. My senior year of college, I was over at a friend’s room and we were watching Goldfinger (I think that was when TNT still had the rights) and the barn scene came on. We got into a discussion of whether it was seduction or date rape. Then she pointed out that if I did that to her, no matter how willing she seemed after the initial contact I’d probably would get a visit from the campus police the next day. I got the point, so I’m taking one from Mr. Bond. 4

8. The Office: M berates Bond for “borrowing” Goldfinger’s girlfriend and not watching him. The flirting with Moneypenny commences soon after, which she is put off that she can’t cook him dinner because he has a dinner date… with M (insert comical horn here). Bond is filled in about Goldfinger and his dealings and given a rare Nazi gold bar to use as bait. 3.5

9. Q and his gadgets: Q gives Bond 2 “homers” one for in his shoe and one that is magnetic for tailing a car that syncs up with a map inside the car. Nothing spectacular most of Q’s goodies are in the car. 3

10. The Car: Aston Martin DB 5. Has rotating license plates, smoke screen, ejector seat, wheel scythes to shred tires, oil slick valves, bullet proof rear windshield, and front firing machine guns. Plus did I mention it’s an Aston Martin DB 5? 5

11. Allies: Felix is back. This time portrayed by Cec Linder. Too bad it’s mostly exposition. 2

12. The Deathtrap: There are two in this film. The first after Bond is captured by Goldfinger and is strapped to a table made of gold. Goldfinger turns on a “laser” and begins to cut the table in two. The laser slowly moves up the table threatening to cut dissect our hero. Bond talks his way out of it just by mentioning Operation: Grand Slam. The second is the actual operation. Bond is handcuffed to the “atomic device” and left in the vault with Oddjob and another henchman. Oddjob kills the henchman when he tries to escape, and Bond then frees himself and fights Oddjob. After defeating Oddjob, Bond tries to disable the device but Felix saves the day by throwing the correct switch. 5

13. The Chase: After Tilly sets off the trip wire, they run back to Bond’s car and the chase is on! Bond uses every trick in the book (or at least the car) to lose his captors. Sadly, Tilly gets killed by Oddjob’s hat (although unlike the statue, her head stays attached) and Bond is forced backed into his car with a guard. He uses the ejector seat and drives off. Unfortunately he’s tricked by a simple mirror and captured by Oddjob. 4

14. Henchmen: Oddjob is the classic Bond villain. Silent, hulking and nigh indestructible in hand to hand combat against Bond. In fact Bond gets lucky disposing of Oddjob. When inside the vault, Bond throws Oddjob’s hat into the steel bars of the depository, Oddjob goes to retrieve it, and Bond uses a previously severed high voltage line to electrify the bars and Oddjob. 5

15. HQ: I might be a little too hard on Mr. Goldfinger’s base of operations but it’s a stud farm that has a bar/game room that displays all the machinations of Operation: Grand Slam. It’s nothing really special 2

16. Quips: ”Do you expect me to talk?” “No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!” I really don’t think anything else needs to be said. 4

17. Good Girl: Pussy Galore. Well, let’s start with name. Pussy, or as Connery would say it, Pusshy it’s so fun to say. It’s only topped by a Roger Moore film later. (I think I just committed sacrilege). Second, we have Honor Blackman of the Avengers fame. That and besides her implied lesbianism, not that there’s anything wrong with that, she’s quite a capable woman and more than a match for Bond. 5

18. Disposal: Bond is being flown from Kentucky to Washington to have lunch at the White House with the President. Except that Goldfinger, having escaped from Ft. Knox, has commandeered the plane, with Pussy at the controls. Bond and Goldfinger struggle and Goldfinger’s golden gun goes off (say that 5 times fast). The plane loses altitude and all semblance of control, and Goldfinger gets sucked out of the tiny window. Except that’s not how it works in real life. I picked a bad time to nitpick didn’t I? Oh well 2

19. Last Line(s) : “After bailing out of their doomed plane, Pussy waves her jacket in order to get the attention of rescue helicopter. Bond pulls her down and says, “Oh no, you don’t. This is no time to be rescued.” The make out and credits roll. 3.5

20. Extra Credit : This film gets 5 extra credit points for setting the gold standard (pun intended) for future Bond films. Pop singer sings title song, over the top villain, gadgets, overtly sexual naming practice (Honey Ryder was a good name but not compared to future names). It loses one point because late Moore through Brosnan take it way, way too far. 4

Total Score: 75 points.

There you have it folks. They just keep getting better. Even if this proves to be the high watermark, and I don’t think it will, remember that when all is said and done we’ll compare on a curve. I doubt we’ll see films peak into the 90s, just because they all have their little flaws. Still, I think that Thunderball, You Only Live Twice, Live and Let Die, The Spy Who Loved Me, Octopussy, and Casino Royale will all easily get into the mid to high 80s. I’m not sure though, where Man with the Golden Gun, Moonraker, View to a Kill, or a few others are going to land. I’d like to say they will all break 50. I’m not so sure now…

Posted 17:00 by Grote 0 comments

The Great James Bond Project:

From Russia With Love

Here we are again with From Russia with Love. This is one of my personal favorite Bond movies. Let’s see how she stacks up.

1. Pre Credits: We open with Bond stealthily walking through the grounds of a mansion. He’s being stalked by Red Grant who we see much more of in this film. Finally Red catches Bond and garrotes him with a wire hidden in his watch winder. Oh noes! James Bond is dead! Except the lights come on in the mansion and we see trainers run out and congratulate Red. The trainer removes the convincing Sean Connery mask to reveal that it wasn’t Bond. Whew. 4 points

2. Credits: The credits are the instrumental version of “From Russia with Love” later sung in the movie by Matt Munro. More importantly the credits are displayed on a belly dancers body in various places. This is probably the first time anyone has paid VERY close attention to the credits. 4

3. Villain: This is a take your pick here. You have a) Number 1 a.k.a. Ernst Starvo Blofeld head of SPECTRE 2) Rosa Klebb former SMERSH agent working for SPECTRE who carry out the plan and 3) Kronsteen the developer of the plan. 3 points (one for each member)

4. The Plan: Step one: Find a young and beautiful Russian girl to convince to pretend to defect to the British with a cipher machine called the Lecktor. Step two: Kill both the girl and the British agent. Step three: Get the Lektor and ransom it back to the Russians. Bonus: James Bond (who disposed of their Dr. No and deserves a death that is “unpleasant and humiliating”). It’s a good plan. 5

5. Other Bond Girls: The return, for the final time, of Sylvia Trench. She and Bond are doing their thing next to a river or a stream. Later in a gypsy camp after the fight with the Bulgarians, Bond stops a fight between to gypsy girls and helps settle their fight overnight (If you know what I mean). 4 points, one for Sylvia and 3 for Bond getting two chicks at once with out a million bucks.

6. Titular Line: It’s heard on the radio just before we see Bond and Ms. Trench and later, Bond gives the picture of Tatiana back to Moneypenny and signs it “From Russia with Love.” 4

7. Bond: Connery’s second turn as Bond, and he really steps into the roll. He looks a little harder and more seasoned than he did in Dr. No. 5

8. The Office: Both Bond and M are assuming that this is a trap but it’s too good to pass up a chance to get a Lektor. Bond gets his new attaché case (see below) and Bond and Moneypenny share a cute moment where she pines for Bond and he almost begins nibbling on her ear when interrupted over the intercom by M. 4

9. Q and his gadgets: We see Desmond Llewellyn for the first time as “Q”. He presents Bond with a case that wouldn’t make it past the TSA. Then again, it just might. The case contains 50 gold sovereigns, 20 rounds of ammunition, concealed throwing knife, an AR-7 Folding Sniper’s Rifle with an infrared scope. Finally the case is designed to hold a canister of tear gas. If the catches aren’t opened properly the canister explodes in the openers face. Bond also has a pager and car phone, both unheard of in the early 60s. 5

10. The Car: Um, well, no car. 0

11. Allies: Ali Kerim Bey is Bond’s contact in Istanbul (not Constantinople). Bey explains that the Allies and the Soviets have an uneasy truce but a stable one. Bey takes Bond to the Gypsy camp and helps Bond bomb the Russian consulate so they can steal the Lektor. He makes arrangements for Bond, Tatiana and himself to leave Turkey. Also played with great courage by a dying Pedro Armednariz. (He committed suicide shortly after his filming was finished. 4

12. The Deathtrap: The deathtrap isn’t your run-of-the-mill deathtrap. Grant, Tatiana and Bond are all on the Orient Express. Tatiana is knocked out by the sleeping pill Grant gave her, and Bond is on his knees in the adjoining room while Grant is lording over Bond about how stupid he is. Bond works it out that Grant isn’t working for SMERSH but SPECTRE and tricks Grant into opening the attaché case that he stole from the British agent. The ensuing fight is probably one of the best close quartered fights on film. 5

13. The Chase: No car chase in this film, but there is a boat chase where Morzeny is leading 2 other boats trying to trap Bond and take the Lektor from him. Unfortunately the henchmen Morzeny is leading don’t follow orders to well (insert “I said ‘Across her nose’ not ‘Up it!’” joke here). The result is Bond’s extra fuel being riddled with bullet holes and leaking. Bond subsequently dumps them into the water waits for the SPECTRE boats to get close enough and lights them all on fire via flare gun. The villains ineptitude cause all the boats to catch fire and explode. 3

14. Henchmen: Red Grant. This is the quintessential Bond henchman. Tough, emotionless, he would make a great villain in his own right. He alone stacks up the body count. He saves Bond’s life during the gypsy fight (so to forward the plans of SPECTRE of course) and kills a British Agent so he can get the Lektor. The only downside to having henchmen is that they can be so stupid sometimes. Exhibit A is the boat chase near the end of the film. The boats get too close together (despite warnings from Morzeny) and catch fire when Bond lights the fuel barrels he dumped into the water on fire. 4 (It was a five until that scene came on).

15. HQ: Blofeld’s HQ is a boat somewhere. Probably Venice or something like that. There’s nothing special about the boat; it’s just a boat. It does have Siamese Fighting Fish, so it’s got that going for it. 1

16. Quips: The best line in the film has to be as the Bulgarian leader, Krilencu, was shot by Bey, climbing out of a secret window of his flat. The window is hidden by a movie poster that takes up a side of the building. More specifically it’s hidden in her mouth. The mouth opens he climbs out and Bey shoots him. Bond quips, “She should have kept her mouth shut.” 4

17. Good Girl: Tatiana Romanova portrayed by the beautiful Daniela Bianch. She has this naitvitee about her, yet it’s not overwhelming or overt. Her best scene is when she’s being interviewed by Bond about the Lektor and she keeps digressing about when they can make love again and such things. Yet, Bond keeps cool (probably knowing he’s being recorded too) and answers in a monitone, dry voice. 5

18. Disposal: Klebb has cornered Bond with a pistol and in a Venice hotel room and has told Tatiana to leave the room. Tatiana hits Klebb’s arm with her coat and Bond uses the opportunity to knock the gun out of Klebb’s hand. They fight, Bond using a chair to keep Klebb’s poison tipped shoe at bay. Tatiana takes the gun on the floor, trying to decide whether to shoot Bond or Klebb. Fortunately for Bond, she shoots Klebb, Bond quips “She’s had her kicks”. 4

19. Last Line(s):One of Bond’s last lines was “He was right, you know”. Which is a good line if you know what he’s talking about. In a deleted scene, Klebb and Grant are filming Bond and Tatiana’s love making in the bridal suite and Grant comments “Magnificent, simply magnificent.” This validates Bond’s comments when he’s viewing the film. Without it, though, the comment is meaningless. 1

20. Extra Credit: Two point for it being really, really good. One point for the fight seen on the train. One point for Tatiana. One point for SPECTRE Island (who knew that there’s a henchman training ground) and for the line “Yes, we use live targets as well.” 5

Total Score: 73 points.

So there you have it; From Russia with Love scores a respectable 73 points, which is quite good considering there were 2 ‘1’s and a ‘0’. Next up: Goldfinger